One of the things we get familiar with through the Big Mind process is how each voice has a function. It is there for a reason. And for the personal voices, the reason is very often survival.
Each voice has information for us.
Fear tells us to reconsider if we are about to do something that could be dangerous. Courage tells us to keep going even if there may be danger there, if it seems reasonable and likely beneficial. Doubt tells us to take a second look at what we are about to do, maybe we can work with it a little more. Confidence tells us to go at it even if everything is not perfect. And so on.
If we try to ignore or push away a particular voice, we are not able to benefit from that information, and we also create a struggle and battle which makes the voice reshape in a less aligned and more distorted way. It may even forget that its function is to serve the self.
If we latch on to a particular voice too strongly, if we are habitually identified with it, the information may come through, but we may lack a certain distance and perspective on it. We may not be able to weigh it in a balanced way with all the other pieces of information. And this too is less than helpful.
In my case right now, there is information coming through doubt. I feel a strong pull to engage further in Breema as a profession, to develop my familiarity and skills with the Big Mind process – possibly also as a part-time profession, and even to go to India for the 21 day deeksha process.
But there is doubt coming up in all of these areas. I can allow it to prevent me from do much in either of these areas, or I can take the information in it seriously and make a different and more informed decision.
For Breema, the information is partly to gain more experience (although I am at a place now where I could easily charge money) and partly to find a situation where I am able to ask for money. Where I live I need a license to practice Breema for money, and that license has to come through massage therapy, acupuncture or similar professions. The doubt tells me to continue learning and practice Breema (for free) as I am currently doing, and also to hang back and wait. If the plan is to stay here, then maybe get one of those licenses. And if I move, I may be able to practice just with the Breema certification.
For Big Mind, it is pretty clear what the doubt is telling me: get more experience through individual and small group sessions and the trainings available in Salt Lake City. Then see where it takes you.
And for the 21 day deeksha process, the doubt is telling me to look into it further, get more information, and then decide – which may include to wait and see for a while longer. I am in a relatively strong process already, I have access to deeksha givers in the region, and it does take time and money to go there. So why not wait and see. If I am to go, the decision will come up when the time is ready.
Then there is the conondrum of the fatigue. What is the information there? It does help me to be more aware of my habits, and whether they appear supportive of my health or not. It also helps me explore different approaches to what I can do myself and what others can do for me, in terms of health. But is there something beyond that?
(to be continued…)