Although the disconnection that we sense is not ultimately real, we experience it as real psychologically because reality is such that our beliefs determine our experience. If we believe that we are independent entities, we will experience ourselves as independent entities, and hence, as disconnected. So the return home to our Source is a matter of education; it is a matter of seeing through certain beliefs. But in letting them go, you are letting go of the very fabric of who you believe you are, so the process is very difficult, very subtle, and very radical.
We can fight or complain or kick and scream in protest about our predicament, but all of these are simply the expressions of the belief in a separate identity and do nothing to change the situation. Even if we have an experience of grace or blessing, it is temporary and does not dissolve the belief that you are someone who is disconnected, because you are busy defending the belief that you are someone who is separate. Since God is merciful, He lets you believe whatever you want to believe—He’s not going to take away from you something you cherish.
So as you can see, it is quite a dilemma. We have to turn ourselves inside out, in a sense, so that we can see reality in a way that is completely different from the way we usually see it. It is not as easy as changing the lens through which you are looking at reality; it’s more like you have to completely strip yourself of everything you are wearing, which means stripping yourself of your very sense of yourself. So how do we do that?
– AH Almaas (Hameed Ali) in Facets of Unity