Befriending heartache

Heartache has come up the last few days.

When I notice it as only sensations, I see that the sensations themselves are quite mild. Other sensations – in the throat and solar plexus – are stronger.

It’s the beliefs about what these sensations mean that makes it painful, and amazingly painful at times.

Here are some of these beliefs:

It’s heartache.

She doesn’t love me. I am unlovable. I will never be loved.

My life is doomed. My life is in ruins.

Something terrible has happened.

Note: In one sense, this heartache is old. It may well be from early infancy. And more accurately, it’s here now. It’s fresh.



– sensations in themselves ok, not even that strong
– the beliefs about what the sensations mean, painful
– amazing how painful, even if the sensations are mild
– some of the beliefs: label heartache, it means my life is doomed, she doesn’t love me, my life is in ruins, something terrible has happened



One thought to “Befriending heartache”

  1. This experience is one of the things I journal about most in my therapy. I never intended for this to become so central to my therapy or to me. What I write contains the components above; and I then write most times about being disappointed in myself over this, too. As in “Something terrible has happened; I could have prevented it but I didn’t. A competent husband would not let this happen to a relationship. Women want rich, deep relationships. A woman is naturally inclined to remain securely attached to a man who loves her, a man she loves, too, unless he is insufficient.” The sensations I have are from the diaphram, in the throat, jaw, eyes.

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