As I have written about before, when I was fifteen, a shift happened. I was absorbed into or as the Witness, a sense of being the witness of all content of experience whether it was what is conventionally described as “internal” (my “internal” life) or external (the rest of the world). After a year, this shifted into an awakening where all, without exception, was recognized as the divine, that this human self was an expression of and aspect of this divine, and that any sense of being a separate self was the play of the divine, one of the ways the divine temporarily and locally expressed and explored itself.
During this “witness” year, I read anything I could find about spirituality in the library, (Yes, this was just before the internet.) And I remember sitting outside during the summer, reading about the history of western esoteric spirituality (Theosophists, Rudolf Steiner etc.), and noticing a light around the leaves of the trees in front of me.
Initially, I thought it was just an optical illusion. But it grew stronger and was unmistakeable, and I also saw this light around all plants, animals (including humans), and things. And it was different depending on what it was around. Inanimate objects had a relatively simple structure in this light. Something more was going on around plants and the light seemed more alive. And it was even more complex around animals and humans and stretched farther out.
This was the beginning of seeing energies, and sensing energies in general, and also discovering that “I” was able to invite in healing – sometimes profound healing – through sensing and intention, and through divine grace.
A few years later, I met a slightly older woman in my tai chi class. We had an instant and deep connection, and it turned out we had grown up in the same little neighborhood in a small town outside of Oslo. She knew I could see energies and helped me trust more what I saw and sensed. For instance, we would sometimes sit in the train station while waiting for a train, look at the energies around a specific persona, and compare notes. And what we saw was the same. (When different people see or sense energies, it’s often generally the same although we may also pick up on slightly different aspects. For me, the degree of awareness is often emphasized.)
These days, when it’s needed, I typically sense at a distance (and it’s more developed than it was), while seeing energies in the way described above is less important. It still happens the rare times it’s helpful or needed, and I tune into it, but it’s usually more in the background and just part of my daily life.