0. Statement that causes suffering.
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know it is true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who/what would you be without the thought?
6. I am willing/looking forward to (original statement).
Finding statements: Looking at a specific situation that triggered a contraction in me. Looking at the worst thing anyone can say/do to me. Looking at what I am most ashamed of. etc.
He shouldn’t be an arrogant bastard (leaving out some details here to prevent identification).
2. No, it’s just an opinion – no absolute truth. And I don’t know what is best for his path and for those around him.
3. I get angry, upset. Very judgmental. Very strong impulse to talk about his behavior with others, to analyze it, tear him down, pick him apart verbally with others. Want revenge. Want him to fully see and admit what an arrogant bastard he is, and how much suffering it has caused those around him. Deep sense of alienation and separation from him, and myself, and others.
4. Present with the situation. Sense of connection with myself, him and others. Deep sense of care for myself, him and others involved. Clarity. Able to interact with clarity and connection, without knowing in advance what to do or if I need to do anything.
>5a. He should be an arrogant bastard. (Yes, it is his process. And I can see how beautiful it is when he is completely following his process…)
>>5b. I shouldn’t be an arrogant bastard. (Yes, that is very true. He acted that way several years ago, and let go of it. I am still repeating it over in my own mind! Even then, I was ferociously arrogant and bastardly in the thoughts I fuelled about him.)
>>5c. My thoughts shouldn’t be arrogant bastards. (Yes, same as immediately above. They definitely are when I believe that he shouldn’t be…)
6. I am looking forward to him being an arrogant bastard (Yes, because if it still triggers something in me, I can inquire into it.)
They shouldn’t be caught up in their own dream world.
2. No, just an opinion.
3. Irritable. Judgmental. Upset. Contraction in my body and breath. Become isolated. Don’t want to talk with them. Wish they would go away.
4. Clear. Present. Appreciate their company when they are here, the richness of the situation. Sense of connection. Enjoyment even.
5a. They should be caught up in their own dream world. (Yes, what is, is. It is their process, and beautiful as that.)
5b. I shouldn’t be caught up in their dream world. (Yes, when I believe in thoughts about them, I am caught up in their world, in their process. I am living an illusion.)
5c. I shouldn’t be caught up in my dream world. (Yes, when I believe in thoughts I kick up a lot of dust which hinders clear sight. I get caught up in my own dream world, my own illusions, my own fog. I am in a trance of my own creation.)
6. I am looking forward to them living in their dream world.