Liberating parts of me: Recognize it as what I am & awake space

There is a quite simple exploration I have been drawn to for a while.

It feels like the right medicine for me, and it’s a variation of befriending & waking up.

THE ESSENCE

This is the simple version:

(1) Notice one of two things: (a) Something that feels like “other” or my personality doesn’t like. (b) Something that feels more like I or me. (Both come from a mental overlay and are “extra”.)

(2) Recognize it as what I am. It’s happening within and as what I am. It’s happening within and as my sense fields. To me, it’s happening within and as the consciousness I am. There is no I or Other inherent in my field of experience.

(3) Subtly shift into finding myself as that. This is not a big shift, just a shift in emphasis. I am that physical discomfort. I am the anxiety. I am the anger. I am the noise from the leaf blower or the loud music at 3am. I am my images of Trump and Putin. I am this sensation in the back of my mouth that somehow feels more like me. I am the sensations in the head area that feels a bit like me. Take on the that role, shift into being that.

(4) As that noise, what is my nature? As this discomfort, what am I made of? As this image of Putin, what’s my essence? As these sensations in my head area, what am I really?

IN REAL LIFE

In real life, it’s often more fluid and I use whatever seems a good medicine.

I notice something that either seems other or undesirable to this personality, or more like I or me.

I notice I have no head, the world as it appears to me happens within and as what I am, and I am even more fundamentally capacity for all of it. Am I also capacity for Trump? For this bodily discomfort? For these sensations in the back of my mouth? For the sense of being a victim? (This helps me go out of any habitual responses to it.)

How is it to shift into being it? How is it to be the noise? Trump? The anxiety? (This helps me go against the habitual pattern of seeing it as other or to try to push it away.)

As that, what am I made of? (Here, I notice that as the object, I am also awake space. I am what everything else is.)

I like to rest in and as these two. (Noticing that it’s part of the field of experience, and happens within and as what I am, is much more familiar to me. The last two seem more interesting these days.)

Depending on what it is, I may also…

Ask: Is it – whatever it is – an object in experience? Is it an object like any other object? (This helps soften or release identification with it, so it’s especially helpful with what seems more like I or me.)

If it’s a reaction from this human self – anxiety, anger, sadness, attraction, aversion, a compulsion – I may say: Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your love for me.

And it usually ends where it began: Notice it’s all happening within and as what I am. What I am is capacity for all of it.

A FEW VARIATIONS

There are a few variations to this.

As mentioned, I tend to explore two types of things: (a) What seems “other” or my personality doesn’t like. And (b) what seems more like I or me. (Both come from a mental overlay and are “extra”.)

There are also two ways to do it: (a) I explore what’s here now. Or I (b) scan and take time with what seems to need this exploration. I scan through what my personality doesn’t like – people, situations, emotions, sensations, etc., or what seems like “other”, or what seems more like I or me.

There are two general approaches: (a) I sometimes use dialog and elements from the Big Mind process. (b) Or, more often, I just notice and shift in a more natural way. The first can be a little more clear and can bring out more, but also can feel slightly structured and artificial. The second is sometimes less clear but feels more natural.

MAY NEED FAMILIARITY WITH OTHER EXPLORATIONS

This is what I am drawn to these days.

Why? Because it feels like medicine. It feels like medicine for the subtle tendency – from old habits of this personality – to see something or someone as other, or undesirable, or more like I or me. It’s one step further than just noticing all as happening within and as what I am. It’s a slightly more thorough exploration. It invites more of me – more of my psyche – onboard with oneness.

I assume it may not work for everyone. It seems like an exploration for a particular phase of the path, one where our nature recognizes itself and parts of our human self are not quite aligned with it.

It rests on familiarity with our nature, and it also helps to have experience with some forms of inquiry and dialog.

And it is very similar to what others talk about. For instance, Pamela Wilson uses the welcome/thank you and notice it’s nature approach. Genpo Roshi with his Big Mind process, helps us shift into different aspects of what we are and explore ourselves as that – and Big Mind. I love both approaches. There is nothing new in the way I explore it these days, although it’s also inevitably always new and different.


INITIAL DRAFT

BE IT AND NOTICE MY NATURE

This is an exploration I have been drawn to for a while, and I assume it works best when our nature is familiar with noticing itself.

I find myself as this field of experience and what it all happens within and as.

At the same time, my human self and psyche has old patterns and habits. It likes some things and don’t like other things. It sees some things as I, me, or me and other things as other and them. It embraces some things, and wants to avoid or get rid of other things.

That’s completely natural. That’s how this human self functions. It comes from evolution and has helped us to survive. There is nothing wrong with it, but it can be uncomfortable to the extent we still get caught in it, consciously or outside of what we are consciously aware of.

What I am drawn to is to move against my habitual patterns in two ways. I intentionally go upstream.

First, I notice that my personality sees something as other or undesirable, and I remind myself that I already am it. I notice it’s already happening within the field of experience, within the oneness I am. What I am, which can be called consciousness, forms itself into it. I emphasize to myself that I already am in, and I rest in that noticing.

Then, I ask myself what I am made of. As this that my personality may not like so much, what am I? Here, I find myself as awake space. I find that I – as discomfort, sadness, anxiety, anger, cravings, or whatever it may be – am awake space. I am what everything else is, to me. Here too, I rest in and as this noticing.

This helps get more parts of me and my psyche on board with oneness.

DRAFT FRAGMENTS

Be what’s here & as that, notice my nature

….

Two ways to do it: (a) What’s here now. (b) Scan through everything my personality doesn’t like – people, situations, emotions, sensations, etc. and notice (i) I am it and (ii) it’s awake space like everything else.

Two approaches: (a) dialog, BM process, (b) just noticing, shifting. The first can be a little more clear, but also can feel a bit artificial. The second is sometimes less clear but feels more natural.

Two types of things: (a) What my personality doesn’t like, (b) what seems more like I or me.

…..

(2) Recognize it – whether it’s discomfort, anxiety, anger, noise, people I don’t like, situations – as what I am. It’s happening within and as what I am. It’s happening within and as my sense fields. To me, it’s happening within and as the consciousness I am.

….

May need familiarity with other explorations

….

If it’s a reaction from this human self, I may say: Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your love for me.

……

And maybe again…

Notice it’s all happening within and as what I am. What I am is capacity for all of it.

And ask: Is it – whatever it is – an object in experience? Is it an object like any other object? (This helps soften or release identification with it.)

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