What’s the underlying and innocent wish behind it?

What’s the underlying and innocent wish behind the thought?

I have found this to be a very helpful question in inquiry.

There is often an underlying and innocent wish behind a thought, and behind taking it as true.

And it feels good to see it and acknowledge it. It’s a relief.

I see it’s innocent. I see I can find what I wish for in other ways.

As they suggest in NVC: First differentiate your needs and your strategies to meet those needs, and then explore a wide range of strategies to meet the needs. If you get stuck in just one strategy, there is pain. If you are more flexible, there is flow.

Note: I said “often” but I suspect it’s really always. That’s how it looks from my own experience, and what I see from others. I just wanted to leave it open since I cannot know for certain.

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