God’s will and my will are the same, whether I notice it or not.
– Byron Katie
I cannot know what she means by it, but here is what comes up for me.
PERSONAL WILL AND GOD’S WILL
How do I understand the difference between my will and God’s will?
My will, or personal will, is what I want, and it may be different from reality. I want ice cream, and I don’t have it. I want better health and can’t find it. I want more money, and it’s not coming. I don’t want to lose the ones I love, and they are lost.
God’s will is what is. It’s reality. It’s the situations we find ourselves in and ultimately the experiences we have. We can also call this life’s will.
Often, it seems that my personal will is at odds with reality. And when that happens, I often create a sense of struggle for myself.
MY PERSONAL WILL IS ULTIMATELY GOD’S WILL
What I experience as “my will” is ultimately life’s will. It’s life taking that form.
As anything else, my will has infinite causes stretching back to the beginning of this universe and out to the widest extent of existence. It’s the local expression of movements within the larger whole. It’s life or the universe taking this local form.
Nothing happens that’s not “God’s will”, and that includes the apparent personal will. That too is God’s will.
That this apparently personal will happens, and the form it takes, is God’s will.
Nothing happens that’s not God taking that form.
PERSONAL WILL HAPPENS, IT’S NOT PERSONAL
Said another way, these thoughts, feelings, experiences, choices, and so on happen, and then a thought comes and says “I did it” and calls it “my thoughts”, “my feelings”, “my choices”. It’s the same with “my will”.
Something happens and a thought calls it “personal will” or “my will”.
WHEN I LOOK MORE CLOSELY, I FIND THAT MY WILL WANTS GOD’S WILL
Another side to this is the apparent difference between personal will and God’s will, or personal will and reality. On the surface, it seems that I want something else than what is and I struggle with that difference. As I examine this, I may find that what I more honestly want is what is.
Behind the surface layers of wants, desires, hang-ups, wounds, unloved fears, and unexamined stories, I find that what I really want is God’s will.
My most sincere wish is for what is, even if this is sometimes covered up by confusion, hurt, and reactivity.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF THIS IS NOT WHAT IT IS ABOUT
We can report on what we find, or philosophize on it within stories, and that can be interesting. There may be valuable pointers there, and it may serve as a stepping stone.
And where this becomes more alive and transformative is in our own exploration.
When I inquire into my stressful stories, which all are about the apparent conflict between my will and life’s will, what do I find?
Do I find that my will ultimately is at odds with God’s will?
Do I find that my will is separate from or different from God’s will?
What happens over time when I keep exploring specific stressful thoughts? What shifts?
DRAFT FRAGMENTS
What I experience as “my will” is the local expression of movements within the larger whole. It’s life or the universe locally taking this form. Nothing happens that’s not “God’s will”, and that includes the apparent personal will. That too is God’s will.
That this apparently personal will happens, and the form it takes, is God’s will.
Nothing happens that’s not God taking that form.