This is one of the Life 101 topics many talk about.
The outer is (also) the inner.
A CONVENTIONAL VIEW: THE WORLD IS A MIRROR
The outer world – and the dynamics we experience with others – reflect something in us.
We have the dynamic in ourselves, and we have what we see in others in ourselves.
For instance, we may have an identity as a victim. We see ourselves as a victim of others, situations, life, or even God. That’s one side of it. And the other side is that we also have a victimizer in us. We have a part of ourselves that play the role of the victimizer. Otherwise, we wouldn’t and couldn’t feel like a victim. We couldn’t maintain that identity over time and through various situations, including when the outer victimizer is not present.
In a practical sense, that means that if I work on finding healing for (my relationship with) the victim in me, I also need to work on finding healing for (my relationship with) my inner victimizer. I need to notice and get to know each, find healing for my relationship with each and their dynamic, and possibly also invite healing for both of these parts of me.
This is the conventional view: The world is a mirror. Whatever we see in the outer world is also in us. Whatever story I have about others or the world, I can turn that story to myself and find genuine and specific examples of how it’s valid.
A MORE REAL VIEW: IT’S ALL HAPPENING WITHIN AND AS WHAT I AM
There is another layer to this, and that is that it’s all happening within and as what I am.
My mental field creates an overlay of mental images and words that makes sense of the world for me. This overlay is where any and all labels and stories happens. All my interpretations happens here. And it’s all happening within my mental field. Any ideas of victimizer and victim, and any ideas of inner and outer, you and me, and so on, happens within my mental field. And I can notice this in real time as it happens.
Also, in one sense, I am this human self in the world. That’s an assumption that works reasonably well. And when I examine what I am in my own first-person experience, I find something else. I find I more fundamentally am capacity for the world and any content of experience. And I find that the world, to me, happens within and as what I am. Any content of experience happens within and as what I am.
So there are several layers to this.
The world is a mirror. Whatever I see out there is also within me, including all the roles and identities I try to exclude. Those too are here. I have an inner victimizer as much as I have an inner victim. And that goes for any and all of the polarities I see in the world.
My interpretation of the world – labels, stories, and so on – happen within my own mental field. It’s all created by my mental images and words to make sense of the world. It helps me orient and function in the world. So any stories about victimizer and victim, and anything else, happens within my mental field. (That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen “out there” in the world as well, just that my stories about it are mine.)
To me, the world – and any content of experience including of this human self – happens within and as what I am.
All of this are things I can explore for myself in my own immediate noticing. It’s all something I can notice here and now, in real time since that’s the only place it happens.
How can we explore these layers?
Personally, I explore the mirror dynamics through projection work, including The Work of Byron Katie.
I get to know the mental field through examining my sense fields and how they interact, for instance through traditional Buddhist inquiry or modern versions like the Kiloby Inquiries.
And I find myself as what it all happens within and as through inquiries like the Headless experiments and the Big Mind process.
The inner-personal element of interpersonal dynamics / the inner dimension
- Conventional view: Anything interpersonal is reflected in an inner dynamic
- More real view: It’s all happening within and as who and what I am
- Happens within and as what I am
- Reflects inner dynamics, have it all in me, and is happening within me
- E.g. victimizer-victim in different versions, expressions
- To have an inner victim, need an inner victimizer, need both poles in the polarity to hold the issue in place