THE SHADOW AND OUR WHOLENESS
The shadow is the parts of us that don’t fit into our conscious self-image.
It’s not an entity or anything like that. It’s just whatever is here where we say “that’s not me”.
For that reason, we tend to see it in others and not in ourselves. When we see it in others, we are often annoyed by it. We dislike it.
So what we dislike in others, and obviously in ourselves, is a manifestation of our own wholeness.
It’s a part of the wholeness we already are, it’s just not yet the wholeness we consciously recognize, embrace, and relate to as part of ourselves.
In that sense, the shadow – and anything that annoys us in others – is a reminder of what can be our own future conscious wholeness.
It’s the wholeness we already are. And it can be the wholeness we embrace if we have the receptivity and willingness to explore and embrace it.
We push it away because it doesn’t fit our self-image, and it doesn’t seem desirable to us. And, in reality, there are great gifts in it. It helps us find more of our wholeness. And the essence of it is always useful in our life.
AN EXAMPLE
What are some examples of this?
One thing that sometimes annoys me in others is being noisy. I see them as inconsiderate and unconscious.
When I can find that in myself, I see that I am often inconsiderate – for instance in my mind when I see them that way. I am often, and really always, unconscious. There is always a lot in myself I am not conscious of, and there is a vast amount I am not conscious of when it comes to others and the world. Most of what is – in the world, others, and myself – are things I inevitably am not conscious of.
When I have those thoughts about someone else, I am describing myself and I am describing myself as I am in that moment.
Also, how would it be for me to be more free to sometimes be noisy? Maybe it would feel liberating? Natural? Maybe I would find another side of myself I would actually enjoy, at least now and then?