Brief notes on healing and awakening and occasional personal things – vol. 42

This is one in a series of posts with brief notes on healing, awakening, and personal things. These are more spontaneous and less comprehensive than the regular articles. Some may be made into a regular article in time.


Some people like to use the movie screen analogy for consciousness.

Just like a movie is projected onto a screen without affecting the screen, our consciousness experiences all sorts of things without being affected.

That’s true enough, and the analogy may be useful to highlight just that.

But, in general, I prefer not to use the analogy. It can mislead more than enlighten.

For instance, a screen is physical and consciousness is not. And the light hitting the screen comes from somewhere else while consciousness forms itself into its own experience.

I prefer to use dreams since it’s an example and not an analogy.

To ourselves, we are consciousness, and to us, the world happens within and as the consciousness we are. That happens in dreams and it happens in waking life. Waking life is, in that way, no different from a dream. The difference is that it tends to be a bit more consistent than dreams. There is more continuity there.


Does awakening take care of traumas?

Not necessarily, and perhaps not even typically.

I suspect most still need to actively work on emotional issues and traumas, even within our nature recognizing itself.

At least, that’s how it has been for me. My nature recognizing itself does not give me a free pass.


I sometimes talk with people early in an awakening or healing process who says: “it’s completely healed”, “it’s gone”, “this technique healed it completely”. (When I say “early”, it may be within the first five or ten or fifteen years of the process depending on a lot of things.)

To me, that seems like wishful thinking. It brings to mind I Ching’s Youthful Folly hexagram.

How can you know? Yes, a certain issue may not seem to be up right now, but how do you know it’s healed? How do you know it won’t come up again later? How do you know there are not more layers? How do you know it’s not connected to a much larger network of similar and supporting issues?

My sense is that with maturity, we learn to hold all of this with a grain of sand. We see it more as questions than statements. We know that the mind sometimes wants things to be over and goes into wishful thinking. (Which can be comforting on the surface and for a while, and also makes the contrast stronger when life goes in another direction. It may also go against our deeper knowing.) We know that life has a way of surprising us.

And we may also see that this is what’s happening during a certain phase of the process. It’s innocent and natural. It’s not wrong. It’s part of the process.


I don’t have many conscious thoughts apart from when I need to plan and do something and it has a practical function. Most of the time, it’s quiet.

At the same time, I notice the signs of less conscious stressful and unexamined thoughts. I notice some tension in my body, perhaps some restlessness. I notice a desire to distract myself or seek comfort in something (food, nature, friends). So I know they are there, they are just not engaged with consciously. I know that many parts of my psyche operate from stressful and unexamined stories.

That’s where Byron Katie’s Judge Your Neighbor worksheet comes in. It helps me identify and explore some of these underlying and “hidden” stressful stories.

AUGUST 1, 2023


Living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is, in many ways, like being a professional athlete.

I have to be very careful to get as much quality sleep as possible. I have to be careful with what I eat, when, and how much. I have to be careful to get enough water. I need to prepare for activities and change my schedule several days in advance. (Get a lot more rest.) I need to rest and recover after an activity.

I need to get to know my body and how it works, what helps it function optimally, and follow what helps it function optimally.


I have been going through old papers, and have found some from my late teens and early twenties when I went to several palmistry experts and astrologers (western, Indian, Chinese).

It’s interesting how they all agree on what professions I would be suited for. Priest often comes up as the first choise, then psychologist, artist, and athlete.

That fits well. I would definetely have been a kind of priest if it wasn’t for the requirement of following and supporting dogma, which I could never promise to do. My first priority is what seems accurate and honest for myself. And I would also be required to uphold and prioritize a tradition, which I also couldn’t promise to do, for similar reasons.

I got trained in psychology and many different therapies.

I did art full time for a while in my late teens and early twenties, and had some success. (I was the youngest to ever be admitted into Høstutstillingen in Norway.)

And I love using my body and being outdoors, and feel – in some way – like an athlete in how I need to live because of the CFS. (I am not terribly strict but pay close attention, learn to listen to my body, prepare for activities, engage in intentional recovery and rest, and so on.)

Note: I just read one palmistry report from when I was 19 (?) that said that a line that indicates ESP abilities is twice as long for me than what’s normal. That fits, I guess, since I see energies and can sense what’s going on with others at a distance.

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