Unresolved Issues

As part of the universal human drama, we all have unresolved issues. Areas that draws our attention, and require us to explore them a little further than we otherwise may have liked.

For me, and unresolved issue is around being accused of something I have not done. This goes back to several instances in early childhood where this happened, and which caused a good deal of contraction at the time.

I also notice how electricity and electronics often can serve as a numbing tool for myself (and I am sure for many others in this culture). Instead of really being with what comes up for me, I use electricity and electronics – in the form of lights after dark, radio, internet, music and more – to distract myself from it. Sitting practice is a good antidote, where we allow anything to come up and unfold on its own accord, and voluntary simplicity can be another way to allow unresolved issues to surface and brought into awareness.

This weekend, Jen and I went on a backpacking trip into the Old Cascades area, and it was clear how the silence and absence of distractions allowed issues to come up during the night. I had a long dream in the morning where someone planted “evidence” in my bag and pockets, upon which I was falsely accused of having done some crime (it was not clear what it was).

I woke up, and stayed with it for a while. And then used Byron Katie’s inquiry process.

They should not falsely accuse me.

1a. Is it true?
Yes, it is true according to my own ideology.

1b. Is it really true?
No, I cannot know if it is true in any absolute sense (true and false are just human constructs, not neccesarily reflecting anything beyond that).

3. What are the effects of believing the thought?
It brings up fear, panic, contractions in many forms, numbness, suspicion of others, I have recurrent dreams of being wrongly accused.

4. What/who am I without believing in the thought?
Spaciousness, clarity, curiosity. I am able to deal with situations from many different angles, using many different strategies – not just stuck in one or a few.

Turnaround (to self, its opposite)
1. I should not wrongly accuse others (Yes, I do it all the time, especially in my thoughts. I especially assign motives without knowing if they are accurate or not.)

2. Others should wrongly accuse me (yes, it allows me to see my own hangups/beliefs around this more clearly, and to explore how to respond in a fluid and effective way to the situation).

Again, I see… (a) How believing in a thought is relying on something as true when I cannot know if it is true. I take the map as true (beliefs and human constructs) rather than the terrain (open for the many ways existence manifests). (b) It causes contraction and suffering, as well as limited, stereotypical and habitual behaviors and responses. (c) When the belief is dropped, it allows for the natural spaciousness, clarity and wisdom/intelligence of the mind to come to the surface. I can relate to situations with more overview and fluid responsiveness, not limited to arbitrary belifs. (d) When I turn it around, I see something in myself that I normally don’t, which is a form of liberation (from that particular stuckness and blindness).

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