Befriending oneself

The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.

– from NY Times, Go Easy on Yourself

One of the main keys to healing, maturing and even awakening is to befriend oneself and the whole field of experience in general (AKA the world).

The reason is simple: When I am not a friend with what is, I am caught up in resistance and beliefs, and that’s what (re)creates wounds, keeps me locked in old patterns, and it comes from identification with stories which prevents what I am from noticing itself.

So when I befriend what is – through allowing experience, noticing I already am the field of experience, inquire into beliefs, find clarity to live from my inner guidance and so on, there is an invitation for healing and maturing, and it may even be easier for what I am to notice itself.

What this is about is to befriend the field of experience – what’s alive in experience here and now: sensations, sights, sounds, taste, smell and thoughts and images.

Within that field of experience is who I am as this human self and “the world” as everything else. Whatever happens within this field of experience happens within and as awareness. All of that happens within and as capacity for all of it. And all of it is what is, it’s what I really am – this human self, the world, all of it happening within and as awareness, and all of that happening within and as capacity for all of it.

Note: I forgot something more specific to the topic of the article. If I have anxiety and am not a friend with myself or the world, I create more anxiety for myself, and the same goes for depression and many other symptoms. If I want to change my diet and am not friend with myself or the world, I experience unease and distress, so I am more likely to eat whatever I want to eat less of, and the same goes for other behavioral changes. For instance, I want to exercise more, blame myself for not exercising, associate exercise with unpleasant internal dynamics (blame), so am less likely to exercise.

Conversely, if I have anxiety and move in the direction of befriending myself and/or the world, the anxiety is likely to reduce. It is, after all, maintained by opposition, as is depression. And if I want to change my diet or exercise more, and befriend myself and this activity, I associate pleasant experiences with this new diet or exercise, so I am more likely to do it. We are drawn to what feels good, so why not befriend that dynamic and play on the same team.

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