Primal layers

I woke up with the sense of primal fear again this morning. The mind can of course go to current situations and concerns (health, money) that fit this fear, and I make a note of these and will take them to inquiry. And yet, the underlying beliefs behind this fear are more basic and existential.

I’ll die. It’s terrible to die.

I’ll be alone. I’ll be abandoned by God. I’ll be lost forever.

I also notice a scenario which combines some of what I fear the most: I am abandoned by all. Alone. Rejected. Homeless. Sick. In pain. Suffering. On the street. In a gutter. Wet and cold. Without shelter. Feeling abandoned by God. Gradually dying.

The worst that can happen in my life is….

I’ll be abandoned by God. I’ll be alone. Everyone will reject me.

I’ll die. I’ll die a violent death.

I’ll be lost forever.

TA: The best that can happen in my life is… (i) I’ll be abandoned by God.

Can I find real, simple and genuine examples for how that’s the best that can happen in my life?

Note: I am grateful for TRE which allows these primal fears to surface in a very tangible, real and juicy way. It’s an invitation there to explore how it is to meet them as a friend. Notice the resistant thoughts to meeting them as a friend. And take these beliefs, and the beliefs behind the primal fears, to inquiry and see what I find.


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