As what I am, all is subject and object

In one sense, I am this human self in the world.

And when I look more closely, I find I am capacity for the world as it appears to me. I am what all my experiences – including of this human self and the wider world – happens within and as.

And here, I find that all of my experiences are both subject and object.

Anything happening within my sense fields – of this human self and the wider world – is an object. It’s all happening within me. It’s not what I more fundamentally am.

And anything happening within my sense fields is a subject. It’s what I am. What I am takes all these forms.

THE PRACTICAL USE OF THIS

Why is this important? In some ways, it isn’t. It’s just something to notice, and it can be a bit fun to notice.

At the same time, it is helpful to notice all the content of my sense fields as objects. That helps me find myself as capacity for it all, and as what it all happens within and as.

And it is helpful to notice all of it as subject since that’s helps me find myself as oneness. As what takes the form of all of it, as it appears to me.

THOUGHTS CREATING A SENSE OF SUBJECT AND OBJECT

There is one thing here to clarify.

When we normally experience something as subject (what we are) or object (other), it’s really a thought telling us this, and a thought we hold as true.

The conventional sense of subject (me as this human self with all these identities and roles) and other (the rest of the world, and the parts of me that don’t fit my desired image) comes from holding a thought as true. It comes from identifying with a thought.

A thought says: I am this human self with these identities. My mind holds that thought as true and identifies with the viewpoint of this thought. In my own experience, I become the viewpoint of this thought.

Another thought says: I am not this table, or phone, or this room, or what’s outside the window, or these other people. And my mind identifies with the viewpoint of that thought, and that becomes my experience. All of this then is “other” to me.

This is our conventional experience of ourselves and the world. We take ourselves as this human self (roughly since we exclude some things we don’t like), and we are not the rest of the world.

That’s not wrong. But it’s not what we more fundamentally are, in our own first-person experience. To ourselves, we more fundamentally are capacity for it all, and what it all happens within and as.

This human self and the wider world happens within my sense fields, and I am what these sense fields – what this human self and the wider world – happens within and as.

And we can find this for ourselves. We can notice it, and it can become something we live from – and as.

And here, all my experiences – including my thoughts – become objects. They happen within me. They are not what I more fundamentally are.

And they all become subject. They are all what I am. What I am takes all these forms.

NOT QUITE AS CLEAR CUT

There are some wrinkles here. It’s not quite as clear-cut in practice.

Yes, I may notice what I am. And at the same time, I may still be partially identified with certain thoughts – mental images and words.

Both can co-exist. The task here is to notice where there is identification, and find that too as what I am capacity for, and what happens within and as what I am.

I can find it as having the same nature as myself – capacity for itself, stillness & silence, and so on, and invite it to find itself as that and relax in that noticing.

INITIAL DRAFT

Said in a far too intellectual way, it’s all subject and object.

It’s all what I am. It’s all happening within my sense fields, and what I am takes the form of these sense fields. Any idea of boundaries comes from an overlay of mental representations. What I am is this oneness.

It’s all what I am. It’s all, in that sense, subject.

At the same time, it’s all happening within my sense fields, it’s all happening within what I am. It all comes and goes, and lives its own life. It’s all something that can be noticed as something.

It’s all happening within what I am, and is – in that sense – object.

Noticing it all as objects, including the content of experience that may seem more like what I am, helps me notice I am most fundamentally not it. It’s all coming and going. It’s all content of experiene.

Noticing it all as a subject, including what seems the most as “other”, helps me notice that it’s all what I am. It’s all happening within and as what I am. It’s all happening within my sense fields, and there are no inherent boundaries anywhere.

Finding all as object helps me find myself as capacity for it all. And finding all as subject helps me find love for it all, and as capacity taking all these forms.

As I said earlier, this all sounds far too intellectual. It’s much simpler and more immediate than this.

DRAFT FRAGMENTS

It’s all happening as what I am. It’s all happening within these sense fields, which are a seamless whole with any sense of boundaries only from

It’s all happening within my sense fields, and within and as what I am. Any sense of boundaries comes from my own mental images and words. It’s all one and happening within and as what I am.

As oneness, I am all of it.

….

All is what I am (subject)
And what I don’t am (object)
As what I am, all is subject and object

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