Brief notes on healing and awakening and occasional personal things – vol. 43

This is one in a series of posts with brief notes on healing, awakening, and personal things. These are more spontaneous and less comprehensive than the regular articles. Some may be made into a regular article in time.


I mostly write about awakening, healing, and CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) here. So if you know me just from these writings, it may seem that this is my whole life.

Of course, from my perspective, it’s quite different. These are aspects of my life, and far from my whole life. Most of the time, I am just living an ordinary life where I go to the store, talk with people about practical things or nothing very important, make or laugh at a joke, enjoy simple things in daily life, deal with ordinary life challenges, and so on.


I live with a disability. (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / CFS.)

It doesn’t mean that it’s who or what I am.

It doesn’t mean it defines me as a whole or fully.

It’s not even close to being all of my life.

It’s a part of my life. It’s something I live with.

That’s just about it.

It’s the same with a lot of other things in my life: my gender, ethnicity, age, education, politics, and so on. It’s part of my life, but it doesn’t define me and it’s not even close to being all of who or what I am.

And none of it is what I more fundamentally am. What I am is what allows all of it, and forms itself into all of it.


When I write about my nature, is it philosophy?

In a sense, yes. Anything that’s mirrored in our mental field becomes philosophy.

And a more real answer is that it depends. It depends on the receiver.

If we use it as a practical pointer to look and expore here and now, then it’s a practical pointer.

If we let it stay in the realm of mental representations, then it’s a philosophy.

It’s up to each of us if it’s one or the other.


What’s my daily diet? It changes with location, season, and what feels right for my system.

Today, on a coolish (ca. 20 celsius) late summer day in Norway, it was….

A cup of warm bone broth before breakfast. (Cooked for 2-3 days so it’s deep golden in color.) This feels deeply nourishing and gives me a deeper level of energy. I store it in smaller portions in the freezer so it’s enough for 2-3 weeks.

Oatmeal porridge for breakfast, with banana, sunflower seeds, coconut, blueberries, and gomasio on top. (Breakfast can also be eggs and tomatoes with a warm and crunchy baguette, or arepas with eggs and tomatoes and possibly other vegetables.)

A delicious lunch with roasted root vegetables, quiona, feta cheese on top, and some olive oil. (Often vegetables, quinoa, pasta, and very occasionally meat or fish. I may make Boeuf Bourguignon tomorrow.)

I had the leftovers from lunch in the late afternoon.

I drink lots of herbal teas of different kinds throughout the day. These days, mostly Yogi Tea and English Tea Shop brands. I currently especially like the ginger mixes.

I eat fruits and/or berries throughout the day. Today, mostly bananas and red currants from the garden. If it’s hot, I love watermelon.

Between meals and as emergency food, I sometimes have lompe (Norwegian round soft flat bread made with potatoes) with butter, peanut butter, or butter and liver paté. This gives me energy and if I am out doing things.

Lunch is the main meal, and I often don’t eat much in the evening. The food is organic as much as possible.

Occasionally, and when it’s warm, I’ll have some ice cream (oatmeal ice cream), and very occasionally chocolate. I may also have a croissant or something similar if I am out. (Often empanadas if I am in Latin America.)

AUGUST 5, 2023


What is cosmic consciousness?

If it’s “just” a direct experience of all of cosmos being one and consciousness, then that’s inevitable when we notice our nature.

To ourselves, we are consciousness. And to us, all of existence happens within and as the consciousenss we are.

That’s how it always and already is. And when we notice, then it may appear to us as all of cosmos is the consciousness we are. It’s all one and consciousness. And we may call that Spirit, the divine, God, Brahman, Big Mind, and so on.

Does it mean that all of existence IS consciousness? That it has the same nature as us? Maybe, but if I am honest with myself, I know I cannot know for certain.

[Made into a regular article]

AUGUST 15, 2023


In my twenties, when my system functioned relatively well, I could take naps where I quickly fell into a deep sleep for 10-30 minutes, and it reset my system in an amazing way.

That’s happening again these days. Often, late afternoon or early evening, I’ll lie down, quickly fall asleep, and go into a profound sleep for 10-1 minutes, and my system is nourished and reset.

I assume this is quite natural. It likely has a survival advantage, so it was passed on to us.


I am in Norway to get my parents’ house ready for sale. It’s a big project since the house is full of lifetimes of things, including a large amount of art and antiques. Since I have limited energy (CFS), I need to save my energy for what needs to be done. And that means less energy for writing.

AUGUST 16, 2023


This is a famous phrase from the Heart Sutra.

For me, it almost seems meaningless to analyze it. It’s just how it is in direct perception.

What I am allows this content of experience that’s here, and it forms itself into the content of experience that’s here. It forms itself into the visuals of this computer, the table, the room and so on, the sounds, the smell and taste, and whatever happens within the sense fields.

The consciousness I am allows any and all experience, which our mental field can call “empty”. It’s inherently empty of any form, so it can take any form.

And it forms itself into the content of experience that’s here, whatever it is.

Waking life and night dreams both happen within and as the consciousness I am.

Form is empty. It’s made up of the consciousness I am which is inherently empty of any particular form.

Emptiness is form. The consciousness I am forms itself into the content of experience that’s here.

The direct noticing is very simple. It’s beyond simple. And whenever it’s reflected in our mental field and made into words, it seems far more complicated and exotic than it really is.

There are also other ways to talk about it. For instance, any sense of “I” or “me” is not what I more fundamentally am. Yes, it’s here. The mental representation of an I or me helps this human slf orient and function in the world. And it’s not what I more fundamentally am. The consciousness I am is metaphorically empty of a fundamental I or me. It’s what allows the experience of it, and the experience of anything at all.

AUGUST 25, 2023


I had a fever a couple of days ago, and was met with the “fever is dangerous, we need to get it down” attitude which I dismissed.

I have never understood that view. Fever is part of the body’s way of dealing with pathogens. It helps the body fight off disease. So why try to reduce it? It makes very little sense to me.

If anything, it would make sense to support the fever. And even, in some cases, induce artificial fever. (Hyperthermia which some use, and which helped me hugely with Lyme and CFS when I received it once.)


I have experienced a few different challenges in following my inner guidance.

The most common one, at least in the past, is that my inner guidance seems to typically work in short-term scenarios and not over the longer term. I may not know what it tells me for next year or six months for now, but I know what it tells me days and a few weeks ahead. Society is often set up differently. Society often wants us to know much further in advance. (Governments want us to know which country we decide to live in, universities which study and when, employers want to know when and where and roughly for how long, airline companies give much better prices further in advance, and so on.)

Another one is that I cannot always fully rationalize what my guidance tells me. I cannot always fully back it up with rational reasons. This can create problems if it involves other people. For instance, I strongly sense that it’s important to do something now rather than later. Others may want to know why and think later is better. I cannot fully explain why. It doesn’t happen. And I later realize the reasons and why it would have been much better to do it when my guidance told me to do it. My brain fog also makes it difficult for me to remember or bring to conscious attention the reasons that would help other people see the advantage of, in this example, doing it now rather than later. I may not remember the reasons now, but do later, and sometimes when it’s too late.

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