Sometimes, people compulsively seek awakening.
How does it look? One end of the spectrum is a rash “I need awakening now!” urge. The other end may be people who are a bit more mature, skilled in how they go about it, and are in it for the long haul.
What’s the upside of this? It may actually work. It may bring about healing, awakening, and needed disillusionment (not necessarily in that order). A strong effort – especially combined with some insight, skill, and persistence – can, ultimately, lead to healing and awakening, often through a series of disillusionments.
What’s the downside? If we are compulsively seeking anything, it often means we are chasing an image or a state, and that we are compulsively trying to escape or avoid something. We may overlook what it’s actually about for ourselves. And we may successfully avoid, for a while, what we wish to avoid, which is something in us that needs attention and healing.
What’s a good way to make use of this urge?
Be smart about it. Find an experienced guide or coach that seems sane, mature, and grounded. Learn the skills and apply them. Explore different approaches. Combine the ones that work best. Stay with what works.
Explore the urge itself. Investigate the beliefs behind it and find what’s more true for you. Investigate your ideas about awakening and what it gives you (for instance, through how these ideas appear in the sense fields). Find healing for the parts of you creating the urge for awakening. (The pain you may want to avoid, the reactions to the pain saying awakening is the way).
Use approaches that invite in healing and awakening. Most likely, an urge for awakening is a combination of a genuine pull towards awakening and a reaction against our own pain. A genuine pull towards awakening is, in itself, quiet and persistent. (At least, in my experience.) And a compulsion that comes from our reaction to our own pain can be more loud, stressful, and more of a drama queen. Most of the approaches I write about here, in these articles, do both.
Explore approaches that give a first hand taste of what awakening is about. This will give a guideline and also some grounding to your exploration, and it’s part of the disillusionment mentioned above. (The Big Mind process and Headless experiments work well for some people.)
It does seem that compulsively seeking awakening is a phase of the process for many people, whether it’s more rash or seasoned, or more fanciful or skilled.
In any case, it’s the divine wishing to wake up to itself. It has temporarily experienced itself as what it inherently isn’t – separate, isolated, prone to believing thoughts and so on – and wishing for awakening is another phase in its ongoing exploration of itself. The awakening itself – with its ongoing clarification, maturing, and learning to live from it – is yet another phase.
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Initial notes….
- compulsively seeking awakening
- how does it look
- rash vs more mature
- upside
- may actually work, may bring about healing, awakening, disillusionment
- downside
- successful avoidance
- how to make use of it
- find guidance, coach + learn skills + apply diligently (do it smart)
- explore where the urge is coming from
- use approaches that invite in healing + awakening
- use approaches that gives a glimpse of it (as guide, helpful disillusionment)
- ….
- how does it look
- Compulsively seeking awakening?
- how does it look?
- obviously compulsive – “I need it now!”
- more reasonably (!) compulsive – more mature, skilled, over time etc.
- upside
- may bring about healing + awakening + needed desillusionment (not neccesarily in that order)
- downside
- may chase an image/idea of awakening
- overlook what it actually is about
- use it as avoidance / escape from what needs healing
- approach
- inquire into beliefs + ideas of awakening + what it will bring / get you
- if open for it, invite healing for what try to avoid, escape from
- use approaches that invite in healing + awakening
- use approaches that gives a glimpse / taste of what it’s about
- big mind process, headless experiments
- creates needed disillusionment, see it’s about what’s already here
- ….
- how does it look?
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Initial draft….
Sometimes, I meet someone compulsively seeking awakening.
What’s the upside of this? It may actually bring about healing, awakening, and needed disillusionment (not neccesarily in that order). A strong effort – especially combined with some insight, skill, and persistance – can, ultimately, lead to healing and awakening, often through a series of disillusionments.
What’s the downside? If we are compulsively seeking anything, it often means we are chasing an image or a state, and that we are compulsively trying to escape or avoid something. We may overlook what it’s actually about for ourselves. And we may successfully avoid, for a while, what we wish to avoid, which is something in us that needs attention and healing.
What’s a good way to explore and make use of a compulsion to seek awakening?
…..
Explore approaches that give a first hand taste of what awakening is about. This will give an guideline and also some grounding to your exploration. This is part of the disillusionment mentioned above since many think awakening is about achieving a permanent state while it’s more about noticing what’s already here that’s already allowing and is any and all shifting states. (The Big Mind process and Headless experiments work well for some people.)
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And really, it’s the divine wishing to wake up to itself. It has temporarily experienced itself as what it inherently isn’t – separate, isolated, prone to believing thoughts and so on – and wishing for awakening is another phase in its ongoing exploration of itself. The awakening itself – with its ongoing clarification, maturing, and learning to live from it – is yet another phase.