The essence of the dark night: Viscerally getting any experience as the divine

I have written about dark nights in other articles, and some of the different types of dark nights. And I have written about the dark night I have gone through over the last several years.

There is an important question here: What’s the essence of the dark night I went through? If I were to pick out one thing, what would it be?

One answer is the general one: Life – in the form of life situations and inner processes – rubbed up against some deep identifications in me, rooted in unexamined, unfelt, and unloved fear.

And another is more specific: It’s about viscerally recognizing whatever is here, including and especially what my personality doesn’t like, as happening within the same field.

What my personality struggles with, this human self, how this human self relates to it, and so on, are all happening within and as the same field. (And what my personality struggles with is typically a contraction that comes up in me.)

Said with other words: It’s all happening within and as what I am. It’s all having the same nature and the same nature as me. It’s all part of the oneness I am. It’s all the oneness I am taking the form of the contraction, this human self, how this human self relates to it, and so on. And thought can label this consciousness. Or a love that’s inherent in my nature and oneness and not dependent on any particular feelings or states. Or even Spirit or the divine or synonyms for this.

It’s not about seeing it as that, because that’s not new. It’s about viscerally getting it. And that’s a process. It’s an ongoing process for, I assume, at least as long as this human self is alive and it may go on far beyond that.

What are some of these things I have been invited to viscerally get as the divine? Deep primal fear. Traumas. Painful beliefs and identifications. Losses. Painful reaction to losses. And much more.

And am I finished with it? Not at all. But there have been shifts, and the dark night seems to gradually lighten and trail off, although much of it is still here. And it’s not about getting out of it. (This is, after all, what I am making itself conscious and befriending itself.) It’s about befriending what’s here and my nature viscerally sinking into it as itself.

And what’s the difference between seeing something as the divine (or having the same nature as me) and viscerally getting it as the divine? We can see it, and our human self may still go through its habitual responses to it. It may be caught up in and operate from reactivity. When we viscerally get it, our human response tends to change. There is more of a befriending of whatever is triggered in us. And over time, that tends to allow what’s triggered to transform as well.


INITIAL DRAFT

I have written about dark nights here in other articles, and some of the different types of dark nights. And I have written about the dark night I have gone through over the last several years. I won’t go into details there again.

But there is one important question here: What’s the essence of the dark night I went through? If I were to pick out one thing, what would it be?

One answer is the general one. The dark night rubbed up against some deep identifications in me, rooted in unexamined, unfelt, and unloved fear.

And another is more specific: It has been about viscerally recognizing whatever is here, including and especially what my personality doesn’t like, as the divine. As having the same nature as me. As – if I were to put more words on it – as consciousness, love, and oneness all part of my nature.

It’s not about seeing it as that, because that’s not new. It’s about viscerally getting it. And that’s a process. It’s an ongoing process for, I assume, at least as long as this human self is alive and it may go on far beyond that.

What are some of these things I have been invited to viscerally get as the divine? Deep primal fear. Traumas. Painful beliefs and identifications. Losses. Painful reaction to losses. And much more.

And am I finished with it? Not at all. But there have been shifts, and the dark night seems to gradually lighten and tail off, although much of it is still here. And it’s not about getting out of it. It’s about befriending what’s here and viscerally getting it as the divine.

….

And another is more specific: It has been about viscerally recognizing whatever is here, including and especially what my personality doesn’t like, as the divine. As having the same nature as me. As – if I were to put more words on it – as consciousness, love, and oneness all part of my nature.

It’s all happening within the same field – the contraction, this human self, how this human self relates to it, and so on.

….

A contraction has mental and physical components, and it’s created by beliefs and identifications. It can be called a hangup, emotional issue, trauma, and more. The physical contraction lends a sense of solidity and reality to the painful story connected with it. And the story gives a sense of meaning to the physical contraction.

…..

CONTRACTIONS

Here are a few words about contractions cut from the article since it’s not so relevant to the main topic:

A situation trigger a contraction in me, and this contraction is typically experienced as unpleasant. Then there is often a reaction to this contraction — and to what triggered it — which in itself is a contraction.

A contraction has mental and physical components. It’s made up of a physical contraction which tends to be more or less chronic and readily resurfaces. And it’s made up of a mental contraction created by a painful story.

The physical contraction lends a sense of solidity and reality to the painful story connected with it. And the story gives a sense of meaning to the physical contraction.

The contraction is created by beliefs and identifications, and it can be called a hangup, emotional issue, trauma, ideology, and more.

We can relate to it in a couple of general ways.

We can react to it and compulsively try to distract ourselves from it. (Through food, work, relationships, sex, drugs, entertainment, ideologies, blame, shame, depression, chronic anxiety, and just about anything else.)

Or we relate to it more consciously and intentionally. We recognize it as a contraction and meet it, befriend it, and get to know it.

We may see it’s here to protect us, and it comes from – and is a form of – love. We can dialog with it. We may identify the painful story within it and find what’s genuinely more true for us. We can give this part of its the sense of understanding, protection, and love it craves. We can recognize that its nature is the same as our nature. (It happens within and as what we are.) And so on.

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