What will I get out of awakening?

What do we get out of awakening?

There are many ways to answer that question.

I will explore it from my own experience and partly what I have heard from others, and in the context of the awakening process and not just awakening itself.

WHO AND WHAT I AM

There is a me and an I here. There is a human being in the world, there are all sorts of identities and identifications. That’s not wrong, and being familiar with these helps this human self to function in the world.

And yet, is it what I more fundamentally am in my own first-person experience? I find I more fundamentally am what it all happens within and as. A thought may say I am the consciousness it all – the world as it appears to me – happens within and as. What I am forms itself into the world as it appears to me, and this whole field of experience. It forms itself into the wider world, this human self, identities and identifications, states, and so on.

Even more fundamentally, I find my nature is capacity for it all – for consciousness and what it forms itself into.

WHAT IS AWAKENING?

This is what awakening refers to, at least as I tend to use the word.

It can appear as a moment in time or it can be more stable and go through different situations in daily life.

It can be more or less thoroughly examined.

It can be more or less lived from in daily life situations.

Our psyche may be more or less on board with it and aligned with it.

And so on. It’s a process of clarification, deepening, and maybe even of our human self healing, transforming, and maturing within it.

WHAT IS THE AWAKENING PROCESS?

It’s a process.

This process is always unique just like everything is unique.

There are also some common themes and aspects of it.

There may be an initial interest and fascination, typically fueled by projections. (We imagine things in the awakening that’s already here, and that helps us find it here – at least if we pursue it.)

There may be a more serious phase of sincerely asking the divine to be shown reality, of practices (prayer, meditation, inquiry, heart-centered practices, and so on), of following the guidance of a coach, and so on.

There may be initial glimpses, either before or during any of these phases. These tend to function as a carrot and encouragement to continue the exploration.

Our nature may recognize itself, at least for a while.

This may be followed by an experience of losing it. This is an invitation for clarification. We are invited to find the essence of what it is about and see the side-effects for what they are.

Our nature may then recognize itself more stably. It rests in noticing itself. The invitation here is to continue noticing through more and more situations in daily life, especially the ones where things in our psyche are triggered. Can I recognize that as my nature too? How is it to notice it while it’s happening?

Here, there is also an invitation for more of our human self to be on board with the awakening. Many parts of our psyche were formed within and still operate from separation consciousness. We may call these hangups, wounds, trauma, and so on. They inevitably color our perception and life in the world. And life tends to bring these up so they can be seen, felt, loved, and examined, and so they can realign with oneness and our nature recognizing itself. I imagine this is a lifelong process for most if not all of us.

WHAT OUR PERSONALITY MAY LIKE

Our personality and habitual patterns may like some aspects and phases of the awakening process.

It may like the early seeking and fascination.

It may like the initial tantalizing glimpses and the fantasies it puts on it.

It may like the initial honeymoon phase.

It may like and be fascinated with some of the side effects of awakening, whether it’s the ability to see or sense energies, sensing at a distance, healing at a distance, a stronger inner guidance, and so on.

It may like the label it can put on itself before that too falls away. (It may try to adorn itself with ideas about what’s happening, perhaps as compensation for not feeling enough.)

It may like the profound sense of coming home.

WHAT OUR HABITUAL PATTERNS MAY NOT LIKE

There are also many aspects and phases our personality may not like.

It may not like the ongoing stripping away of layers of identifications and holding onto stories for safety.

It may not like the different dark nights that are part of the process. The times when life and the process show us where we are still stuck and holding onto ideas and identities, and that this is out of alignment with reality.

It may not like that whatever is unhealed, unloved, unexamined, and unprocessed in us tends to come to the surface. When the lid is off, it’s off of everything that was previously under the surface. This can be hugely challenging for the personality and at a human level.

To me, it seems that the more awakening, the less I can get away with. If I act on hangups and trauma, or if I go against or don’t act on my guidance, the consequences tend to be immediate and severe. Some parts of my personality don’t like it, other parts really like it, and deeper down it feels completely right and aligned that it is this way.

THE MORE FUNDAMENTAL ANSWER

This is true enough, in my experience.

And yet, a couple of things may be even more fundamentally true.

This is all life unfolding in different ways to itself, as everything is.

We are not fundamentally any me or I, we are what it all happens within and as. We don’t get anything out of it because it’s all happening within and as us, as fish and plankton happen within the ocean, or as clouds and weather happen within the sky.

The image is created by me and Midjourney

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