Tag: giving it over to the divine

Squeezed & giving it all to the divine

moe Leave a comment

In a conversation with Adya in the early 2010s, we talked about the dark night I was (and still am) in, and he mentioned that “life will squeeze what’s left out of you”.

That is certainly true. The squeeze is real, and has been off and on since then – and also before.

WHAT IS THE SQUEEZE?

What is the squeeze?

I assume it’s a squeeze between (a) my perception of the world and (b) my resistance to that perception.

In other words, my system has a perception and a response to that perception, and that’s where the experience of squeeze is created.

WHAT IS SQUEEZED OUT?

What is squeezed out?

If my system allows it to happen, it’s anything out of alignment with reality. Any perceptions created by unquestioned assumptions. Any reactivity from unloved and wounded parts of me.

THESE DAYS

These days, the squeeze is somewhat amplified.

In terms of consensus reality, a lot is happening, and the rug keeps being pulled out from under my feet1.

And in terms of perception and responses to that perception, there are still unquestioned assumptions and wounded parts of me at play, creating a sense of squeeze.

WHAT AM I DOING?

What am I doing with this?

In the past, I have done a lot of inquiry – Big Mind process, The Work of Byron Katie, sense field explorations (Kiloby Inquiries).

These days, I am drawn to simpler and more immediate explorations.

At different times…

NOTICE AS MY NATURE

I notice it all as happening within and as what I am. Within and as consciousness, taking all these different forms.

I notice that the “inside” of the contractions are made of the same, this awake space.

I rest in and as that noticing.

GIVE IT ALL TO THE DIVINE

I give it all to the divine.

I notice it already is the divine – awake space.

I set the intention for the divine to take over all – the situation, my life, this bodymind system.

I invite and ask the divine to deeply transform everything in this bodymind system, to align it all with my nature noticing itself and the divine noticing itself as all of it.

MEET WITH KINDNESS

I meet with kindness what’s here – the parts of me that are wounded, scared, angry, confused.

I love you. You are welcome here. Stay as long as you would like.

THANK YOU

I say thank you to life for everything that’s here.

Thank you to the contractions for being here.

Thank you for this process, and all it brings up in me.

Thank you for the reactivity that comes up in me.

Thank you for my nature recognizing it all as itself.

WELL-WISHING

I do tonglen and/or ho’oponopono with myself and others, especially the ones my personality may not immediately like.

I find genuine well-wishing for others and myself. I pray for the well-being of others and myself.

AND…

Other times, I get caught up in overwhelm, fear, and so on, sometimes when I have worked on old traumas and they come to the surface as part of that process. That’s OK too. That’s part of this process too, for this bodymind in this life in this period, it seems. I can meet that too with some understanding and kindness.

GIVE IT ALL TO THE DIVINE

Giving it all to the divine is my main focus these days.

Give the whole situation – including this bodymind system – to the divine.

Notice it’s all already the divine.

Invite and ask the divine to thoroughly, deeply transform this bodymind. To take it all and deeply transform it.

This is what’s already happening. There is no other option since it all is the divine. And this helps this bodymind – and the different parts of my psyche – align with it a little more consciously.

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Giving it all to the divine

moe Leave a comment

One of my regular explorations is to give it all to the divine.

I notice what’s here…

Especially contractions, fears, images of situations, and so on.

This human self and his life and the world.

Whatever is here in the sense fields – sensations, sight, sounds, smell, taste, mental images and words.

I give it to the divine…

I intend to give it all to the divine.

I say words, for instance: I give it all to you.

I notice it’s all already the divine…

I notice it’s all happening within and as what I am.

It’s all happening within and as the consciousness I am.

It all has the same nature as what I am.

What this is really about…

At one level, this is about giving it all to the divine. If I have trouble, or if it’s my life or the life of the world, I give it all to the divine. It’s a kind of prayer. It’s a receptivity. It’s an opening for a different solution. This is a relief, and it opens me up for something new. (Human level.)

It’s a reminder that all is already the divine. It’s all the play of life. It’s existence expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself locally as all of this. Even if it’s challenging, there is also a magic and mystery in this. (Worldview level.)

Even more essentially, it’s an invitation to notice it’s all happening within and as what I am. I am space for it, and the awake space I am forms itself into all of it. All content of experience is ephemeral, it’s not what I more fundamentally am. (Direct noticing.)

These different aspects are in the foreground at different times. Usually, it starts with the first and shifts to the third, and the shift is just a shift in attention. Sometimes, attention dips into the second too.

I usually do this in bed before falling asleep, after waking up in the morning, or if I wake up during the night.

Giving it all to the divine

moe Leave a comment

Visualize you are giving everything – your body and mind, your life, the world – to the divine. Feel you are giving it all to the divine.

This is one of the very simple practices that can also be quite transformative.

It’s a practice that opens to surrender. And it’s a reminder that all already belongs to the divine.

In reality, there is nothing to give to the divine because it already belongs to and is the divine. But we don’t know that, or parts of us still in separation consciousness don’t know it, so it can be very helpful to do this practice. It helps us reorient to reality in yet another way.

It helps more of us to open to the divine, and reorient with reality.

An additional benefit: noticing what in me is not aligned with giving it all over to the divine

One of the benefits of most spiritual practices is that we get to see more clearly the parts of us not quite aligned with it. When I do this practice, is there something in me that’s uncomfortable with it? That wants to hold onto the illusion of separateness and control?

If so, that’s completely natural and understandable.

I can notice this part of me. The fear behind it. The wish for control in order to protect me and deal with the fear.

I can say: Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your love for me. I love you.

I can relate to this part of me with some understanding, kindness, and even love. It comes from love, and seeing that makes it easier for me to find love for it. All of this helps it relax and feel safer.

I can also explore this scared protective part through dialog or inquiry, I can reorient to it through tonglen or ho’oponopno, and I can help heal what’s behind it through a variety of approaches – in my case and these days mostly Vortex Healing.

Let Your will be done

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One of the more central and traditional forms of Christian prayers is let Your will be done. 

It’s an acknowledgment that we, as human beings, cannot absolutely control anything. Life has the final word. 

Also, it helps us reorient to this reality. As we engage in this prayer, it works on us. Life’s will is already being done. That’s just how it is. And by engaging in this prayer, we can allow it to work on us. We allow our conscious view and the views of all our human parts to realign with this reality.

And that makes it easier when things don’t seem to go “our way” as we see it as human beings. There is a little more receptivity. A little more curiosity. A little more opening to find the genuine gifts in what’s happening, even if we don’t initially like it very much. 

A companion prayer is I give it all up to You. I give all of what’s happening with me as a human being up to life (or God, Spirit). I give it all up to the larger wisdom and love. I give it up as compost for whatever can come out of it – clarity, insights, receptivity, or something else.  

These two prayers form a context for my life. Let Your will be done. I give it all up to You. And within that, I live my life much as before. I am still active and engaged. I still have hopes, wishes, and plans. I still try to be a good steward of my own life. I still try to fulfill my roles as best I can. 

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Giving it over to God

moe Leave a comment

For the first several years after the initial opening, my practices were simple and heartfelt. They consisted of resting with what’s here, notice all as awakeness (Spirit, the divine, intelligence, love), gratitude for whatever happened, prayer, Heart/Jesus prayer, Christ meditation, tonglen, and giving it all over to Spirit. All of these happened very naturally.

Then, I got “sidetracked” by traditions and teachers with ideas of how things should be done.

And now, I am hoping to find back to a more natural and simple approach. For instance, giving it all over to the divine.

Notice. Notice what’s here – emotions, stories, the fear or wounds behind them.

Rest with what’s here. Take time resting with and as it.

Give it all over to Spirit. To the divine.

There is a beautiful simplicity in this. It’s a reminder that all is Spirit. And it doesn’t exclude any other approach or exploration.

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Giving it over III

moe Leave a comment

When I give whatever is here over to God, it’s an invitation for a shift.

A shift of the center of gravity from beliefs and who I am, to what I am, and who I am realigning within that context.

Noticing that it’s all happening within and as what I am, there is a balance here too.

A balance between being a good steward of this human life, and recognizing it all as awakeness, presence, love and the divine.

Giving it over

moe Leave a comment

Some ways I give it – whatever is here that’s untrue, that’s from beliefs – over to the divine.

I ask the divine/Christ how would you like me to be with you?

I hold satsang with the untrue (confused, wounded) parts of me, as they are here.

I fan the flame of my heart with attention, and bring myself and the untrue into the flame, allowing it to be seen through and burnt away by the divine, by it’s infinite love and wisdom.

I give it over to the divine/Christ, through intention and words. I invite the divine/Christ into the confused areas of my psyche, and to work on it from the inside.

I ask for support, guidance and willingness to invite in all of this, to surrender to it.

What’s really happening here is finding an intention to shift the center of gravity in how I relate to who I am and my life from the untrue – the beliefs, confusion, wounds, to what I am – to Big Mind/Heart/Belly. Another thing happening here is that I notice all of it, including the wounds and beliefs, as the divine. It was never not already the divine.

Writing it like this, it looks like I am very clear on this and consistently give whatever is here over to the divine. That’s not always the case. Sometimes, like the last few days, there is a lot of confusion here, and my willingness to give it all over to the divine is temporarily obscured. What I can ask for then is for guidance, support, and willingness.

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Giving it over to Christ

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Giving it over to Christ. Experience what’s here and give it over to Christ.

That too is a form of inquiry, an experiment. What happens, what do I notice?

I notice some of the beliefs and fears not wanting to do it. The thoughts saying that something terrible will happen if I give it all over to Christ. I won’t be in control anymore. (And that I am in control if I don’t hand it over. That I can be in control. It’s possible to be in control.)

I notice the relief, the sense of coming home.

I notice I still function in everyday life as before, and perhaps from more heart and clarity.

I notice the relief in giving it all over, including what seems the most dense, and the most personal, the most like who and what I am.

I notice it’s a prayer, a meditation. It’s an intention to shift center of gravity from identified to non-identified mind, from being blindly caught up in beliefs to more clarity, from head to heart, from this human self to Christ. (And I notice how all those words seem very clunky, far from the utter simplicity and beauty of it.)

I notice it’s all already Christ, including confusion, frustration, dullness, brain fog, tiredness, anger, what mind takes to be mine, me and I. By giving it over to Christ, it’s easier to notice it’s already Christ.

I notice how it all – the whole field of experience without exceptions – seems more transparent, more alive as awakeness, presence, love.

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Giving it over, guidance, asking

moe Leave a comment

During the initial awakening phase – the first ten years or so – it was easy, and in a sense inevitable, to…..

(a) Give it all over to the divine, to God, Christ: my whole life, any hangups, confusion, fears, identifications, and the present, past, future. This is really just setting an intention to shift the center of gravity from identification to that which is already not identified, from being caught in a very human confusion to shift into presence, love, awakeness.

(b) Follow my inner guidance, the quiet inner voice. This was strong, and I typically followed it in small and larger things.

(c) Trust in life, in Spirit, that what happens – however thoughts may label it – is the very best that possibly could happen.

(d) Being a good steward of my life. I studied  and worked very conscientiously, made a plan for my life, lived (mostly) in integrity, and so on.

Then, during the dark night of the soul, these went away. It all fell away and apart.

Now, there is an invitation to find back to it again, perhaps in a slightly different context. Less as a superman and more as an ordinary human being.

There may be another difference. Then, I said a very sincere “dangerous” prayer: Let me awaken fully, and live it fully in this life, no matter what it will cost.  And now, I wish for a more gentle and kind process, coming from a very ordinary kindness towards myself and those around me. And I also give that wish over to the divine.

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Invite God into what I thought was only mine

moe Leave a comment

Another thing I keep noticing:

The relief when I invite God into what a thought (sometimes) says is only mine.

Into any sense of….. me and I, personal will, control, needs, desires, hopes and fears, memories, wounds, joy.

When I give this over to the divine, and invite the divine into it, there is a deep sense of relief, of coming home.

And it doesn’t mean I won’t do what seems kind and wise in my life. It’s just that the context around the sense of me and I and personal will etc. is different.

It’s held more lightly. It’s recognized as the divine. The divine – presence, love, awakeness – recognizes itself as that too.

Giving it over to the divine

moe Leave a comment

A quick note about giving it over to the divine:

When I give it over to the divine – what’s here in experience, my life, body and mind, circumstances – there is a shift. I notice there is a release of the struggle. A feel for the divine qualities – Big Mind, Big Heart, Big Belly. There is a sense of transparency. There is a sense it’s processed within the divine, that there is a larger intelligence at work. There is a sense of trust, that it’s OK.

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Building capacity

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How do I build capacity for meeting experience and fear?

How do I build capacity for allowing experience, and then notice I already am the field of experience?

I find I build capacity in several ways…..

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Ho’oponopono

moe Leave a comment

Over the last few days, I have explored ho’oponopono – or at least a practice inspired by it since I still don’t understand it very well.

Ho’o is a new and revised version of a traditional shamanic practice from Hawaii and other pacific islands, and as far as I understand, it’s essence is:

(a) to take complete responsibility for whatever happens in the world, and

(b) invite clearing of what creates it.

The recommended way of doing this is to find in myself what creates the situation, connect with it, and say: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

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