
I have written about the two significant shifts in my teens in other articles.
New Year’s Day when I was fifteen, there was a shift where the world went far away. Later, I understood this as an absorption into the witness, or, more accurately, an identification with the mental construction of witness.
One year later, between Christmas and New Year, there was a oneness shift that never really went away.
Here, I feel I should write a bit about the fallout of that second shift. Mainly, the massive influx of energies, insights, and inspirations that came with it and was ongoing in the following years.
Influx of insights
At the moment of the oneness shift, it was clear that everything without exception is God. Everything is the divine taking the form of existence, the universe, this human being, and a perception of being this human self or recognizing itself as the whole. It’s all the play of the divine.
It was utterly simple, obvious, and familiar.
In the following days, it was also clear that it was impossible to express or record this in words. Words can’t touch it.
And in the following days, weeks, months, and years, there was a huge influx – or bubbling up – of other insights. I wrote thousands of pages in my journal. Last year, I found them again and I see that what I wrote about then is what I write about in these articles now. The main difference is that then, it was all new and there was more youthful exuberance. And now, I know more about what others have said about it. (Back then, I knew nothing about that.)
The thousands of pages from then, and the thousands of articles now, is because it is impossible to put it into words. It also helps my human self digest it.
I am still exploring and digest those insights, and learning to live more from and as it.
Influx of energies
With that oneness shift came an experience of huge amounts of energies running through my system. Even at the time, I felt as if high voltage was running through ordinary housing wires. This lasted for years.
At times, it seemed this had an impact on things around me, including – during my first time in Salt Lake City – light bulbs going out as soon as I came into a room.
Influx of inspiration
Along with all of this was also a huge influx of inspiration. I would see amazing and beautiful visual art for my inner eye, and hear amazing, beautiful, and textured music for my inner ear, and yet I had very little ability to get it out. I didn’t have the skills or experience.
I did try, and I did get into art with a passion for many years. The drawing above is one of the first drawings I made and with that one, I was able to be more of an open channel although my technical skills were not very good. (That drawing was later accepted into a prestigious juried exhibition in Norway, Høstutstillingen.)
The summer when I was fifteen, I borrowed a sound module from a friend for a week. (I already had an Amiga computer with music software.) During that week, I composed and created some music that I still happen to have recordings of. Again, what I heard was far more textured and beautiful than what I was able to express with limited skills and time. Here are these early compositions on SoundCloud.
When did it start? How long did it last?
If I am honest, I am not sure if all of this started with the oneness shift. Some of it did likely start the year before, especially some of the inspiration. I am pretty sure I made that music the summer when I was fifteen.
For how long did this last? It lasted for at least ten years, with some reduction in intensity over time.
It slowed down after about ten years since I went against my clear inner guidance on a major life decision. That dampened it all.
Side-effects of awakening
Awakening itself is our nature noticing itself. The awake space we are, and always are and have been, notices itself. That’s it.
There can also be side-effects. In my case, the side effects were quite dramatic. Why? Likely because the shift was unexpected, sudden, and this human self was completely unprepared in every way. I was just an angsty atheist teenager.
If you have a practice of meditation, prayer, mindful movement, learning, and so on, I suspect the shift may be easier and far less dramatic.
After-effects
When this massive influx comes to mind, it brings up discomfort. I haven’t written about this before because of that discomfort, and it has taken months to finish this article. That makes me think that for all the wonders of the side-effects of the initial oneness shift, something about it was also quite traumatizing for my human self and psyche.
On the one hand, it was not overwhelming since it all happens within and as the awake space I am. On the other hand, for my human self, it was overwhelming. Although that, in itself, seemed OK.
What was more difficult at a human level was when I derailed myself. That has left a deep wound. I derailed myself when I was twenty seven by going against a clear inner guidance on a major life decision. That disrupted the natural unfolding of all of this, and that was immensely difficult and painful for me. (And all of it is part of the process.)
Additional articles
I have written about other aspects of what happened within and before this shift. See the autobiographical section on the selected articles page.
A note on words
I call it influx but it’s not clear that it’s coming from anywhere. It’s more a bubbling up of insights, inspiration, and energies.
Also, I call it a oneness shift. It gets the point across but doesn’t really match my experience. It’s more that it’s all the divine without exception. It’s all consciousness without exception. As they say in Advaita, it’s not-two.

